AN UNFINISHED LOVE-STORY...

Living in the city where she lived, far away from home was a way to get away from the pressure of a forced marriage. She had always dreamt that if she were to get married ever, it would always be for love and not for security. She had always dreamt of her knight in shining armour who would sweep her off her feet and the wimps who proposed to her didn’t hold a candle to the image of her Prince Charming. However, life had other plans in store and had been cruel to her again and again. And she was under the impression that her Prince Charming would always remain a dream. She thought she would never find even the least interesting person in the place where she actually did, coz life is truly unpredictable. She realised that her Prince Charming truly did exist in flesh and blood but were never to be hers for keeps.

She still remembered the day when she first set her eyes on him. It had been almost two years after she had broken off with her ex, when she had seen him first. He was quite tall, a thing she found a must in guys. And he was with one of the other guys she knew. From that second onwards life became very interesting for her. Days passed where she would just wait for one glimpse of him or an action from his end, just an acknowledgement that she existed. However, it never came. He hardly took any notice of her. She had become used to the ignorance since by then, all the interesting guys being 'already taken' was a part of life for her. She would see him talk to many other girls, but never to her. She was totally bewildered. What is it in her that a person (read 'he') does not even like the sight of? Then one fine day, he suddenly vanished.

Days went by and turned into months, maybe even years and she became used to the idea that 'he' was another dream which was never meant to be. And then one fine day, just like he had vanished, he returned again to the same ground. It was like a revival of an old forgotten dream... a deja-vu. And they stared talking to each other. On one hand it was great getting this guy for full view all the time, but that he didn’t like her or showed any interest, was another matter. Even during their interactive sessions, they hardly talked about anything except for general topics of life.. all they would ever talk about was the strange philosophies of life, while all the other women had no hassles expressing their likeness for him. He would tell her about his past relationships or about some other woman who he liked, who she knew wasn't even worth him. She couldn’t express her feelings, maybe because she was old fashioned and believed that the man should be the one to come forward or do the chasing, instead of the woman doing the same. She didn't know how she managed to listen to all that gory details of his past relationships or his new-found interests without breaking down, coz she realised then that she had competition and he would never be hers. Most of the time she would be on the verge of crying. Here she had met her dream guy and he could not even see how much she loved him and wanted him. She was constantly crying to god why this had happened... why she had fallen for the 'wrong guy' AGAIN. But she never did keep her hopes high for fear of getting dashed.

One day, late in the night, she received a call from him and for the first time they were actually talking more like friends. She was not her usual self yapping constantly about topics she would never remember later as she had downed a couple of drinks that evening. All she could remember was his voice... a voice to die for, deep and authoritative, asking her if she wanted to take a drive in the middle of the night. She agreed, but the drive never happened. Instead they decided to have some wine, sitting in her balcony, talking about relationships late into the night. She felt God had answered her prayers. There was no looking back after that. He asked her to sit on his lap and she asked him to pinch her so as to make her feel it was happening for real and she wasn't dreaming. Suddenly the need for words were gone... Her Knight in Shining Armour lifted her petite body in his strong arms and loved her in the most passionate way... like a caveman... raw, wild and unsatiable... She had never experienced such joy before. But there were no words of love... no promises... no committments and no future plans... And then he left.

After he left, she broke down unconsolably. She felt used. She felt her emotions were (mis)taken for sexual attraction and that was what was given to her. She couldn’t express her emotions to anyone. She never discussed her feelings. And she felt he was drawn further away from her after then....