WOMANHOOD... what is the first image which comes to your mind when you hear this word? For me its symbolizes a very strong power of a woman, who would do anything for the love and well being of her husband, her children.... A person so vulnerable to look at, yet so strong from within, so full of love and warmth.... She's a power almost at par with divinity I think...
The hindu religion followers however have always been very insecure of the power bestowed in women by mother nature, even in a male-dominated country like ours. The religious leaders from times immemorial have always prohibited women from chanting mantras (powerful religious slokas from the holy books), performing yajnas (also known as Yagya) and homas (also called havana) and have bestowed a great number of vrats (religious fasts) most or all of them which are observed for the good health and long life of their family, not for themselves. To mention a couple-Sankat Chauth and Aahoyee Ashtami, are vrats observed by mothers and grandmothers, devoted to the good health and welfare of their children and grandchildren. Karva Chauth vrats observed by wives, is devoted to husbands (it was yesterday-the 29th of October, this year). But I really don't understand why all these fasts are incumbent only on women! Is this their ‘gift’ from pseudo-religious-pandits of our society for being a woman? Is there any such vrat which is dedicated for wives or mothers, observed by the husbands or children? It is understandable that vrats for children might be non-reciprocal as they are too young to observe fasts or maybe too weak to cope up with their daily routine while on fast, but what happens after the children grow up? Do they observe atleast 1 day of fast for their mothers in their entire lifetime? No sir! There is no such ritual. Or what explanation do we have for the Karva Chauth vrat? Isn't it surely reciprocal as husbands can well observe this vrat for the health and happiness of their wives? If the working husband is in service, trade, media, industry or agriculture, the domesticated housewife also has to manage the household... a 24X7 job that is more arduous than the husband’s. Today, most modern women earn their share to contribute into the household economy or for their own financial independence and rural women infact, work even harder with their men in agricultural fields. But at the end of the day, we always see the women folk coming back to their kitchens and doing their only share of household chores. Whether she is a part-time domestic help, a doctor, a teacher, an actor or a labour, the woman of the house has to take up the laddle in the kitchen, help her children with homework and maintain a beautiful love-filled 'home'. Isn't it simply amazing the way she manages it all and keep fasts as well?
After being around a few married female colleagues at work who observes the Karva Chauth vrat for the health and longeivity of their husbands, year after year, without even a single drop of water or a morsel of food right from dawn, throughout the day till the moon comes out in the night sky, yet managing to meet up with their 'call targets' of about 200 calls, like everyday(because the UK clients are oblivious to a ritual like this celebrated only by us Indians and hence no downtime) I believe this ritual is almost inhumane, especially for the women who work in a BPO. When I asked a few of them yesterday, like I enquire around every year, most of the women were shocked and scandalised at my question. When I asked them with utter curiosity if their husbands have also kept the fast for their good-health and longeivity, they answered back with double shock and defense that on this day only the women fast for their men and not any otherwise. I mean, c'mmon, don't the husbands need their wives as much as wives need their husbands? Won't doing so not only strengthen the tie of love between them?? Would the husbands actually be able to enjoy their long, healthy lives with their sickly wives who would be long dead before them???
October 29, 2007
October 23, 2007
FRIENDS IN NEED
Not very long ago, just around mid-september I fell seriously ill. It started off with me feeling the blues a little more than usual. I thought it was just 'those days' of the month. Then it was followed by a slight stomach ache towards the right lower abdomen. I ignored it again. Periodic cramps had never been a reason for me to stop and hault my day-to-day super-active routine. But the pain did not subside even after my curse-days ended. As the pain increased to an unbearable level, with shivers and temperature shooting up at regular intervals, I realised there was trouble. So, I took a day off on the 20th of September and went downstairs to visit the lady doc who stays in the same building as mine, on the 1st floor. After the initial testing of the eyes and the tongue and a few presses on either side of my abdomen, front & back, she told me that she suspected jaundice and immediately scribbled down a blood and urine test from the neighbourhood lab. But she would rather I visited a good hospital and get a proper check-up. I was feeling so unwell that I knew I won't be able to make it on my own to any of the hospitals or labs. So I called up my cousin asking him if he could come to my rescue. He did, ofcourse... being the darling he is. I suggested we go to MAX Hospital (considered one of Delhi's best). There I got the initial treatment from the emergency doctor who gave me a couple of injections to bring my fever, shivering & nausea under control and then I had to give my blood and urine samples for the various tests. The next day, still with no improvement in my condition, when I went to collect the samples, the doc referred me to a lady doctor who immediately asked me to get admitted in the hospital's 'Saket' branch where they had an inhouse hospitalisation facility. From that day, the 21st of September, it was a slow curing process which had begun for the infection they had detected in my kidney which had spread onto my blood and urinary track.
The hospital stay, though long and boring, was quite a memorable one. And the few close friends I have here in Delhi, did their best for me which has made me even more closer to them than ever before. Here goes the list-
NIP (as I call him... short for Nabajit)-We are related in some way and have known each other since childhood, but more than relatives/cousins, we are very close friends and he always somehow gets a vibe if I am not well. He was the first one I called up on to take me to the doctor. Though he was not well himself, and had to take care of his 1001 things which he is always caught up with, he still came and took me to the doctor, waited there while I was getting treated. Then picked me up and took me to their place to stay over for the night just in case I feel worse in the night all by myself at my own place. Next day again he brought me to the doc to collect my reports, then drove me to get me admitted in the hospital, filled in all the forms and dealt with the formalities while I waited for the admission. He visited me at intervals during my stay in the hospital too. I can never forget this ever. Love u, Nip. I owe you a big one.
(P.S.- Please forgive me for texting you those stinky messages when you could not visit me for some days at the hospital. I was really sick of looking at the nurses' and doctors' faces and needed friends like you to be around more often. Guess I was asking for a little too much, but then I know I can demand of you whatever I want and be myself without any pretence, isn't it?)
JEENA (my-Xena-the-warrior-princess-of-a-buddy)-She broadcasted all around to all our common friends that I was sick and admitted in the hospital and urged them to visit me positively, almost to a bully-ing extent. And if that was not enough, the ones who did not turn up were not spared of her sarcasm and bitter remarks about their negligence and shameful attitude. Jeena baby, I know you care, but I think you overdid it with both the Sumits and Samrat...(those poor guys!). But she is the one person who visited me almost daily and called me up regularly to ask if I needed anything.
(P.S.-Girl, I want you to know that I used to wait for that time-slot when you'd come and visit me before leaving for your work. You really did a lot to cheer up my mood with your presence around. Thanks dear. Shall never forget this, ever. Also, couldn't have expected any less from you as you are my closest. )
NARO-My naga-friend who has a hectic 9-5 job in the Korean embassy. But once she heard I was in the hospital, she came all the way to see me from the other part of the city. I understand the distance and the nature of her hectic job did not allow her to visit me every day, but she was there on the day I needed someone the most (when the doctors were all on their weekly off on a sunday and the nurses were enjoying their own sweet high-tea while I was shivering with high-fever and extreme pain due to not receiving the injections on time). She went out all the way to find a nurse or a doctor for me and took control of the situation with much calm which had gone very much out of control with me shouting at the nurse and the assistant who had to be brought at my disposal. Thanks, girl. You were an angel for me that day, as always.
AKUM-Naro's boyfriend and my sweet buddy. He was there to see me everytime with Naro and also did his best that sunday to help. His jokes are hilarious which brought a smile on my face in the midst of my sick gloomy mood.
SHIVANI-Nip's gf... my would-be sis-in-law. She really needn't have bothered but she too did her best. She cooked for me while I was at their place. Also visited me in the hospital inspite of all her work. Thanks Shiv-ji.
VISHAK-Nip & Shivani's room-mate. We're friends and he didn't initially realise how sick I was when he saw me in the morning at their place with a swollen grumpy face due to the unbearable pain. He couldn't help laughing and making some nasty remarks, but I forgive him (yet once again...I hope u r keeping a count too, Vishak) as I know he didn't know how sick I was. Also yes, he visited me at the hospital and tried his best to cheer me up, failing miserably. But atleast he tried. Good try, Vishak. Really appreciate your effort. And hey, thanks a ton buddy.
DIPANKAR-My assamese friend in the office. He is my man-friday. I make full use of his being in the transport department of our organisation. Whenever I need to sneak out of office (unofficially), he is the one I need to call and ask for a cab to take me home. And voila! within seconds my work is done. He talks a lot, though... most of the times to a yawningly boring extent. But inspite of everything, he visited me in the hospital twice or thrice, each time staying for a long duration, chatting up constantly, telling me non-stop stories of his forgotten past hospital experiences. But for the first time I realised I was not all that bored of his non-stop gibberish which he's so good with. It helped to hear a human voice talking to me to kill the emptyness and boredom of my hospital stay. Thank you, my friend.
(P.S.- And now that I'm fit and fine, you can stop talking so much. (just joking!))
ANJULA-the baby in our group of four at work, who sits just next to my work station. She's more like a younger sister than a colleague or a friend. She kept abreast with the latest progress happening with my recovery and what the doctors have said, even while attending office, meeting her daily targets while also dealing with the various formalities she needed to cater to before getting into Jet Airways as an airhostess. She juggled through everything quite efficiently and visited me often, especially during the weekends. She's now in Mumbai going through her training for the airlines. But the help she offered to me while I was in the hospital will always be in my heart and mind. Thank you, little one.
(P.S.-I missed you all the same while I was in the hospital and more than ever, now... when you are not there sitting next to me at work, reminding me constantly to do my work while I am busy on the orkut or blogging during my work hours.)
GAURAV-The hunk of my friends from office.... good-looking, well-behaved and fiercely protective about me and Anjula. But he is a little immature, moody and short-tempered. Doesn't speak much and is shit-scared of my temper. On a Monday evening, knowing they would be visiting me the next day, I asked him if he can get me a print-out of the 'Hanuman-Chalisa' from work (I try to chant the 'hanuman chalisa' every tuesday evening, but do not know it by heart yet). He said he could. Later he must have realised that he had taken out the print-out in 'hindi' which I don't know to read fluently. But by that time he must've already reached home around mid-night and the cyber-cafes might have closed. So, he called up all possible people at odd hours of the night and the morning before they were to reach the hospital asking if anybody had access to the internet and a printer at their vicinity. I don't know how or from where he got it, but he produced a printout of the required Hanuman Chalisa for me (yes, in English) when they visited me the next morning before leaving for work. When Anjula narrated the whole story behind 'the print-out' I felt extremely guilty. But that's just Gaurav. 'Thanks' seems to be a very little word for whatever you have done for me, buddy.
(P.S.-After I was released from the hospital and joinned work, I was advised to have home-food for sometime. Gaurav's mom made it a point to send delicious home-made food for all of us (especially because she knows I stay alone and might not manage to cook proper meals during the week-days). Thanks to aunty too. What does one do to deserve such a royal treatment?!)
SAFAL-The cool-dude, Anjula's guy. He is level-headed and really defines the word 'kewl'. I have never seen him lose his temper and no matter what we say or do or to whatever extent he is provoked, he is always smiling. He can just let go off things till they cool down and the situation gets under control. He's our group's pacifier in our small tiffs and manages to make everyone laugh even under the most difficult of situations. But God save you if he has downed 2 bottles of beer. He will go on talking about anything and everything under the sun (or the moon) till we go off to sleep. Anjula & Gaurav used to drag him along with them when they came to visit me. My wildest guess says Safal would have generally just woken up, put on his clothes and shoes, brushed his teeth and come along, 'cause whenever he came to visit me, he was either eating at the hospital cafeteria downstairs or smoking or watching cricket matches (with Gaurav) at the hospital lounge, before coming upto my room to show his face, giving Anjula and me enough time to catch up with our 'girlie-talks' if there was any.
SHELTON-my friend from Goa who had stopped by in Delhi for his visa work, while on his way to New York City for a concert, with high hopes of me showing him around Delhi while he was around, was really upset with the whole thing. And he did drop in to see me in the hospital. He had also managed to smuggle in some local Goan pork sausages (my favourite) into my room and handed the parcel to me only after strictly warning me to eat them after I recover fully. He is another PJ-r(poor-joke-r) who has a tremendous stock of never ending PJs. And he used them to the full on me while he was around.
P.S.-That was really sweet, Shelton. I promise I'll show you around the next time you are in Delhi, provided I am not in the hospital. And hey, you can parcel me the port-wine bottles from Goa very soon as I have recovered now.)
And then there was GEETA and NIDHI from the office who visited me in the hospital. Though they are not close friends, I really appreciate their taking out time to come and visit. And CHOW (the kiddo) who called me up often, promising to turn up in a couple of days (but never did). His calls were very refreshing in themselves, though, full of vibrance and positive energies, urging me to get well soon. Of course, SUMIT VIRDI and SUMIT CHUG called up too with 'get-well-soon' wishes mainly because (you guessed it!) Jeena bullying them into it, but they did.
So, after my never-ending 8-10 days stay in the hospital I was finally released to go home and advised bed-rest for atleast 2-weeks till I recovered. So I went back home to the comforts of my ma & dad's pampering and care and stayed back for about a week before returning to Delhi to join work. NANDINI my friend in Guwahati came to visit me while I was there and it was nice to see her glowing with pregnancy.
Now I am fit and fine and back to work, but this long gap in between has made me a lazy bum and I still haven't been able to restore back my interest at work. Needed a break, got a break (minus the pain and suffering that came with the illness) !
The hospital stay, though long and boring, was quite a memorable one. And the few close friends I have here in Delhi, did their best for me which has made me even more closer to them than ever before. Here goes the list-
NIP (as I call him... short for Nabajit)-We are related in some way and have known each other since childhood, but more than relatives/cousins, we are very close friends and he always somehow gets a vibe if I am not well. He was the first one I called up on to take me to the doctor. Though he was not well himself, and had to take care of his 1001 things which he is always caught up with, he still came and took me to the doctor, waited there while I was getting treated. Then picked me up and took me to their place to stay over for the night just in case I feel worse in the night all by myself at my own place. Next day again he brought me to the doc to collect my reports, then drove me to get me admitted in the hospital, filled in all the forms and dealt with the formalities while I waited for the admission. He visited me at intervals during my stay in the hospital too. I can never forget this ever. Love u, Nip. I owe you a big one.
(P.S.- Please forgive me for texting you those stinky messages when you could not visit me for some days at the hospital. I was really sick of looking at the nurses' and doctors' faces and needed friends like you to be around more often. Guess I was asking for a little too much, but then I know I can demand of you whatever I want and be myself without any pretence, isn't it?)
JEENA (my-Xena-the-warrior-princess-of-a-buddy)-She broadcasted all around to all our common friends that I was sick and admitted in the hospital and urged them to visit me positively, almost to a bully-ing extent. And if that was not enough, the ones who did not turn up were not spared of her sarcasm and bitter remarks about their negligence and shameful attitude. Jeena baby, I know you care, but I think you overdid it with both the Sumits and Samrat...(those poor guys!). But she is the one person who visited me almost daily and called me up regularly to ask if I needed anything.
(P.S.-Girl, I want you to know that I used to wait for that time-slot when you'd come and visit me before leaving for your work. You really did a lot to cheer up my mood with your presence around. Thanks dear. Shall never forget this, ever. Also, couldn't have expected any less from you as you are my closest. )
NARO-My naga-friend who has a hectic 9-5 job in the Korean embassy. But once she heard I was in the hospital, she came all the way to see me from the other part of the city. I understand the distance and the nature of her hectic job did not allow her to visit me every day, but she was there on the day I needed someone the most (when the doctors were all on their weekly off on a sunday and the nurses were enjoying their own sweet high-tea while I was shivering with high-fever and extreme pain due to not receiving the injections on time). She went out all the way to find a nurse or a doctor for me and took control of the situation with much calm which had gone very much out of control with me shouting at the nurse and the assistant who had to be brought at my disposal. Thanks, girl. You were an angel for me that day, as always.
AKUM-Naro's boyfriend and my sweet buddy. He was there to see me everytime with Naro and also did his best that sunday to help. His jokes are hilarious which brought a smile on my face in the midst of my sick gloomy mood.
SHIVANI-Nip's gf... my would-be sis-in-law. She really needn't have bothered but she too did her best. She cooked for me while I was at their place. Also visited me in the hospital inspite of all her work. Thanks Shiv-ji.
VISHAK-Nip & Shivani's room-mate. We're friends and he didn't initially realise how sick I was when he saw me in the morning at their place with a swollen grumpy face due to the unbearable pain. He couldn't help laughing and making some nasty remarks, but I forgive him (yet once again...I hope u r keeping a count too, Vishak) as I know he didn't know how sick I was. Also yes, he visited me at the hospital and tried his best to cheer me up, failing miserably. But atleast he tried. Good try, Vishak. Really appreciate your effort. And hey, thanks a ton buddy.
DIPANKAR-My assamese friend in the office. He is my man-friday. I make full use of his being in the transport department of our organisation. Whenever I need to sneak out of office (unofficially), he is the one I need to call and ask for a cab to take me home. And voila! within seconds my work is done. He talks a lot, though... most of the times to a yawningly boring extent. But inspite of everything, he visited me in the hospital twice or thrice, each time staying for a long duration, chatting up constantly, telling me non-stop stories of his forgotten past hospital experiences. But for the first time I realised I was not all that bored of his non-stop gibberish which he's so good with. It helped to hear a human voice talking to me to kill the emptyness and boredom of my hospital stay. Thank you, my friend.
(P.S.- And now that I'm fit and fine, you can stop talking so much. (just joking!))
ANJULA-the baby in our group of four at work, who sits just next to my work station. She's more like a younger sister than a colleague or a friend. She kept abreast with the latest progress happening with my recovery and what the doctors have said, even while attending office, meeting her daily targets while also dealing with the various formalities she needed to cater to before getting into Jet Airways as an airhostess. She juggled through everything quite efficiently and visited me often, especially during the weekends. She's now in Mumbai going through her training for the airlines. But the help she offered to me while I was in the hospital will always be in my heart and mind. Thank you, little one.
(P.S.-I missed you all the same while I was in the hospital and more than ever, now... when you are not there sitting next to me at work, reminding me constantly to do my work while I am busy on the orkut or blogging during my work hours.)
GAURAV-The hunk of my friends from office.... good-looking, well-behaved and fiercely protective about me and Anjula. But he is a little immature, moody and short-tempered. Doesn't speak much and is shit-scared of my temper. On a Monday evening, knowing they would be visiting me the next day, I asked him if he can get me a print-out of the 'Hanuman-Chalisa' from work (I try to chant the 'hanuman chalisa' every tuesday evening, but do not know it by heart yet). He said he could. Later he must have realised that he had taken out the print-out in 'hindi' which I don't know to read fluently. But by that time he must've already reached home around mid-night and the cyber-cafes might have closed. So, he called up all possible people at odd hours of the night and the morning before they were to reach the hospital asking if anybody had access to the internet and a printer at their vicinity. I don't know how or from where he got it, but he produced a printout of the required Hanuman Chalisa for me (yes, in English) when they visited me the next morning before leaving for work. When Anjula narrated the whole story behind 'the print-out' I felt extremely guilty. But that's just Gaurav. 'Thanks' seems to be a very little word for whatever you have done for me, buddy.
(P.S.-After I was released from the hospital and joinned work, I was advised to have home-food for sometime. Gaurav's mom made it a point to send delicious home-made food for all of us (especially because she knows I stay alone and might not manage to cook proper meals during the week-days). Thanks to aunty too. What does one do to deserve such a royal treatment?!)
SAFAL-The cool-dude, Anjula's guy. He is level-headed and really defines the word 'kewl'. I have never seen him lose his temper and no matter what we say or do or to whatever extent he is provoked, he is always smiling. He can just let go off things till they cool down and the situation gets under control. He's our group's pacifier in our small tiffs and manages to make everyone laugh even under the most difficult of situations. But God save you if he has downed 2 bottles of beer. He will go on talking about anything and everything under the sun (or the moon) till we go off to sleep. Anjula & Gaurav used to drag him along with them when they came to visit me. My wildest guess says Safal would have generally just woken up, put on his clothes and shoes, brushed his teeth and come along, 'cause whenever he came to visit me, he was either eating at the hospital cafeteria downstairs or smoking or watching cricket matches (with Gaurav) at the hospital lounge, before coming upto my room to show his face, giving Anjula and me enough time to catch up with our 'girlie-talks' if there was any.
SHELTON-my friend from Goa who had stopped by in Delhi for his visa work, while on his way to New York City for a concert, with high hopes of me showing him around Delhi while he was around, was really upset with the whole thing. And he did drop in to see me in the hospital. He had also managed to smuggle in some local Goan pork sausages (my favourite) into my room and handed the parcel to me only after strictly warning me to eat them after I recover fully. He is another PJ-r(poor-joke-r) who has a tremendous stock of never ending PJs. And he used them to the full on me while he was around.
P.S.-That was really sweet, Shelton. I promise I'll show you around the next time you are in Delhi, provided I am not in the hospital. And hey, you can parcel me the port-wine bottles from Goa very soon as I have recovered now.)
And then there was GEETA and NIDHI from the office who visited me in the hospital. Though they are not close friends, I really appreciate their taking out time to come and visit. And CHOW (the kiddo) who called me up often, promising to turn up in a couple of days (but never did). His calls were very refreshing in themselves, though, full of vibrance and positive energies, urging me to get well soon. Of course, SUMIT VIRDI and SUMIT CHUG called up too with 'get-well-soon' wishes mainly because (you guessed it!) Jeena bullying them into it, but they did.
So, after my never-ending 8-10 days stay in the hospital I was finally released to go home and advised bed-rest for atleast 2-weeks till I recovered. So I went back home to the comforts of my ma & dad's pampering and care and stayed back for about a week before returning to Delhi to join work. NANDINI my friend in Guwahati came to visit me while I was there and it was nice to see her glowing with pregnancy.
Now I am fit and fine and back to work, but this long gap in between has made me a lazy bum and I still haven't been able to restore back my interest at work. Needed a break, got a break (minus the pain and suffering that came with the illness) !
October 11, 2007
THE LOST CHARM
I was very happy being in love with George Clooney with his pics in my wallet in that special place reserved for a 'someone special'. Reading his interviews where he'd comment that he is NOT attached and doesn't plan to marry...ever, I'd beam with joy. Just the perfect man for me. And he's good-looking too, just in case you didn't notice. But a couple of weeks back my heart shattered with the accident he was caught in, not because he was suffering from a broken rib and some scrapes, but because he was with a girlfriend Sarah Larson, who was also injured. Hey wait a minute, did I just say 'a girlfriend'? Now where on earth did she come from? And barely did they recover from their injuries when the Clooney guy declared of a prospective engagement with Sarah. So much for my luck! Now I'm no longer attracted to him anymore. I don't have anything left for Georgey boy. No love, no lust. The 'committed' factor, remember?
The story of my life. Sigh!
October 05, 2007
YET ANOTHER MR. WRONG
I noticed him sometime back.
He noticed me long before that.
I liked what I saw.
He could read my mind.
I wished he would talk to me.
He came and talked to me.
I thought he liked me.
He knew I liked him.
I fell in love with his behaviour and the attention he showered.
He wooed and followed me around like a puppy love.
I never hid anything.
He had secrets and issues.
I'm clean.
He's often stoned.
I became a little unsure.
He became defensive.
I began to expect.
He began to detach.
I was on.
He was on and off.
I fell ill.
He stopped communicating for a while.
I prayed to God he comes back to me.
He came back to me.
But now I'm disillusioned.
He's just one of the numerous other MR. WRONGs I've bumped across...
He noticed me long before that.
I liked what I saw.
He could read my mind.
I wished he would talk to me.
He came and talked to me.
I thought he liked me.
He knew I liked him.
I fell in love with his behaviour and the attention he showered.
He wooed and followed me around like a puppy love.
I never hid anything.
He had secrets and issues.
I'm clean.
He's often stoned.
I became a little unsure.
He became defensive.
I began to expect.
He began to detach.
I was on.
He was on and off.
I fell ill.
He stopped communicating for a while.
I prayed to God he comes back to me.
He came back to me.
But now I'm disillusioned.
He's just one of the numerous other MR. WRONGs I've bumped across...
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