THE GOA DIARIES

Saturday 2nd Feb'08 20:45hrs

I reach the Nizamuddin railway station at 07:00hrs and see the Goa Sampark Kranti already waiting in platform# 7. Cool. But as soon as I get inside the train, I realize there is no electricity and the stink is too much to bear. As if all these are not enough, there arrives a herd of cricketers from Kashmir. They are a mix of Moslems, Pundits & Sikhs from J & K... people in different size, age and gender. I take the window seat and look out. Soon all the seats in the coupe are more than occupied with co-passengers I do not quite like the looks of. As the train starts off at 07:30hrs, I go off to sleep, even though I'm not quite used to sleeping in the daytime.

I'm woken up during lunchtime by the 2 young & hyper-actively excited sards (M & N) offering me lunch. UGGGggghhhh!! *GO AWAY!!* I hide under my naga-shawl even though its too warm by now. I can't sleep back. These guys are chomping and yapping away to glory. I sit up straight and find company in Tuesdays with Morrie. I read it straight up and finish it off around 19:00hrs. Now I'm hungry. I eat something at the next station. M & N follow me like shadows. I get back to my seat. M starts a conversation. I pretend I'm deaf. N tries to show he's mature; asks M to keep quiet. *N scores brownie points here* I keep the bored-to-death look on my face and body-language intact. It helps. I sleep off at 21:00hrs sharp.

(Note to myself: Worst journey of my life. GgRRRrrrr!)


Sunday 3rd Feb'08 23:55hrs

Its a lovely morning. *especially because those nerds are nowhere around to be seen* I yawn aloud and stretch. A couple of oldies and kids inspect me like I am from outer space. I look at the passenger sitting beside me just by instinct, and...I have to look again...*my eyes pop out and fall off* A HOTTIE!!...reading the newspaper....*Awwww!!!* Now where on earth has this one landed from?? (let me guess...ummm MARS?!) He reminds me of my friend R. I think I'm staring. That's too obvious. But I'm not staring, I'm looking at him because Hottie looks so much like R. Does that mean R is a hottie too and I haven't realized it all this while? That's too much of thinking to be done on a train journey (especially to Goa). Hottie looks at me and attempts a light smile, slightly uncomfortable. I surprise myself by smiling back when I don't want to. Hottie extends his hand and says he is S. I shake hands and say hi! Everything is nice and smooth and we get talking while the others look on and the nerds barge in. S happens to be in the same group... but he is so refined. (Sigh!). M & N almost starts panting at the prospect of talking to me. S introduces them to me. I say hi without shaking hands. M & N start their much awaited (and mostly one-sided) conversation. I reply in monosyllables when I want to. They are much more stupid than I thought. And desperate. But they appear to be good souls and their stupidities prove to be innocent and very original. I become a little soft. After all, there's not much time left for me to reach my destination. M writes the mobile no.s of all the 3 of them on a piece of paper and hands it over to me, asking me to call them if I ever want to visit J & K.

(Note to myself: Nerds can be sweet at times, but they are basically annoying. I'm losing them fast, so who cares!)

I take a nice long look at S before getting down and when he catches me doing it, I casually drop in the conversation how much he resembles my (actually non-existing) boy-friend. S looks disappointed but I clear my stand. M & N simply gape. Then S says something really sweet..."Bring him along too...to Kashmir. It would be nice to meet the lucky man."

I'm so touched. I get off at my destination (Thivm) with a heavy heart and an even heavier duffel and head straight to Tony's cottage at Anjuna Beach.

I choose a nice front room (courtesy Tony), unpack and take a long leisurely bath, before going out to the beach. A little later I go to meet Baba (another shack-owner, who had refused to give me a room the first time I landed in Goa, but later on, became a very good friend). I ask Baba for food and a Masala Chai. He offers me a seafood burger and beer instead. That's why the love them Goans. As I'm eating and having the beer, a Chinese man comes by and makes a joint. Its good stuff, I can make out from the smell. He offers me to share the joint, but I'm just too tired. So I refuse politely and both of us try to converse in broken English. As the Chinese man was doing the last few drags and I was gulping down my last few sips of beer and burger crumbs, a small carnival band comes right up to the Paradiso-turn just a few feet away. Baba asks me to go watch. I run to the point with my camera to watch all those colorful floats and troops. These are mostly white-people, not the locals, but its fun none-the-less. A white lady who looks totally stoned, comes by and kisses people randomly... on the mouth... *EEKS!* I escape and she catches hold of a guy standing next to me.... N. He doesn't seem to mind, but his girlfriend A, doesn't look so amused. We become friends. They have a couple of other friends- R & S. They are all from Mumbai. We all say hi to each other and watch the carnival for sometime. Later on, we decide to go to the Hilltop and have a freaky time till past midnight with port wine & psychedelic trance at its loudest. *a total WOW experience!!!* R hails from Goa, so she meets up with friends and cousins there. S is drunk silly on 3 large vodka shots. A seems a little bored and lost as N and I are dancing to the trance beats. Just before midnight, N drops me to my guest house and returns to his gang-o-girls. I call it a day.

(Note to myself: Who gives you a nice time... friendly strangers or strange friends???)

Monday 4th Feb'08 23:00hrs

I'm woken up by a loud knock on the door, around 8ish.*Who's it?*. "Hey, its me... N". Am surprised but still open the door for him. He explains sheepishly that they had all stayed at R's native place in Vagator nearby and did not go off to Calangute to their hotel last night. And since he woke up early and the girls were catching up on their beauty-sleep, can we please go for breakfast?! I get ready in 10 minutes flat and we're off to the German Bakery at the Anjuna junction. As we're finishing off breakfast, N gets a call from R's mother that the girls have woken up and waiting for him. He leaves. I go off to the beach for some sun-tan and water-play till mid-day. I experiment with my Canon SLR at all the hours of the day, trying to learn all its hidden features. When I have enough, I take a long long bath in the warm afternoon sea, then go hog on sea-food and port-wine in one of my favorite shacks nearby. After lunch and a quick afternoon siesta, I go shopping gift-items and mementos for friends back in Delhi. I buy beads and anklets and a marble-chillum and a nice green dress and a pair of crocs for the beach. Now I'm happy with all the shopping. *little pleasures of life*. In the evening, I walk down to and pay a visit to Tony's family. That beach is not one of my favorite, so I come back to before its too late. Its too early for dinner and I'm not hungry yet. And I don't have anything much to do. So, I stop by at the 'VagatorAnjunaSea Queen' shack for their evening movies. I watch SHOOT 'EM UP on their big screen projector. Then have a light supper and walk back to my room. I read up some before calling it a day.

(Note to myself: Alright, so the day has gone by unexpectedly uneventful and laid back! But I like it this way sometimes. I miss my girlfriends though... and some of my guy friends too... *wink!*)

Tuesday 5th Feb'08 23:45hrs

Good-morning.... Goa! Its such a lovely morning. Just by the thought of how much lies ahead to be done the whole day, gets me all excited. I go to a secluded spot near the German Bakery which looks like a deserted graveyard, but the place is not as scary as has high walls with lots of stairs and an uphill. I can see some huts and a little hint of civilization up on the hill. So I'm not all that scared. I climb up to the highest stair and sit up on the wall with the hope of catching the first rays of the morning sun with my camera. After what seems to be a long wait, the sun finally shows itself. Not as beautiful as I expect it to be, the sunrise. In Goa, its the sunset at the beach that is the most breathtaking site. Nonetheless, I click some pics and climb down the wall and the stairs and head straight to the German Bakery for breakfast. I'm getting addicted to their masala chai, cheese-burger & omlette breakie. I do my usual sun-soaking and then after a shower and change, at about mid afternoon, I start off for Mapusa.

Today is the last day of the Carnival and its in Mapusa. I can't afford to miss this one. By the time I reach Mapusa and scan the market for some local Goan lunch, the floats are already there on the main road. I rush to catch a glimpse and after I see a couple of them, I'm captivated. I go on clicking them one after another. One float is better than the other. The cheer, the colors, the excitement is all so enticing.... its unbelievable. Before I realize, its dark. I rush to the market to buy some eatables... cashews, dry apricots, prawns balchao, dry-fish, churiso, wines, port-wines, etc. While I was buying my stuff, stacking my wine bottles here and there in the 2 bags I was carrying, it created quite an amusing view (apparently) for 2 friendly strangers-M & A, who have been watching me all this while from outside the shop.*twist in the tale*We say hi! to each other and chat up. They are from Mumbai again. M looks like either a cross-dresser or gay, but nonetheless very friendly and open-hearted and A has a permanent 'bored to death' expression glued on her face. Later I found out that she's not actually bored, but that's the way she looks even while she smiles. I couldn't be bothered. We find a local bar and sit there chatting up, eating, drinking and clicking pictures together. We get along so well that we decide to extend our meet and go over to Club Titos (Baga Beach) at about 22:30hrs. That's where M & A are putting up. They have a car, so we all hop in. My shopping bags in tow.

We have a wild time at Titos and M attracts a lot of 'unwanted' attention while revealing up to his thighs while dancing in his beach sarong on the dance floor. Both A and I lose him in the dance floor and we come out to the bar for more beer. We catch up on beer and some girlie talks and just when 4 cuties come up to us to ask us for a dance, M finds us and snarls at the cuties.*darn!* He looks hurt at our betrayal. Suddenly I am drunk and too tired. So, I want to go to my room. Them good souls drop me to my hotel room and ask for my tomorrow's plans. Without even thinking I utter out that I have to go to the Anjuna Wednesday Flea Market tomorrow morning. Both of them (being first-timers in Goa) invite themselves to come with me. We fix to meet up tomorrow at my room at 10:00hrs, I gather all my shopping bags and bid each other goodnight.

(Note to myself: Quite a day. Whew! And quite an odd couple. But they are harmless, so I'm kewl.)


Wednesday 6th Feb'08 23:00hrs

I sleep straight till 09:45hrs and wake up with a start at the shrieking alarm clock bell of my new next-door neighbors. *What a timing!* In a jiffy, I shower and get ready and walk up to the shack right across my hotel for a quick breakie. As I finish off the last bit of breakfast, M & A arrive. We drive to the Flea Market and buy a whole lot of junkies. We finish our shopping and a complete round of the market by 15:00hrs, then stop by at a local eatery there in the market for delicious yet affordable local goan lunch. We are all happy with our new possessions.

M decides to take me & A to his local goan friend at Calangute Beach, who owns a shack. We all go over to meet J at his shack. As we reached there, J welcomed all of us with a big friendly smile and open arms for warm hugs. It was hard to believe someone can be so friendly from the first meet. But I observe that in J's line of business, this is extremely important for his clientele to spread about his service and attitude by word of mouth and hence make him more popular than the 10 other competitive shacks in the neighborhood. The pool-table in his shack (the only one in that area) proves to be another added bonus point for his shack's popularity and earnings. And the tall-dark-handsome hunk (his most prized employee) is a hot favorite escort amongst the single white women who visited the shack. There was no leaf unturned by J to soar his business much higher than all his competitions. We sit there chatting, playing pool, sipping on beer and port wine, eating huge crispy-fried tiger-prawns, mussels, etc. everything on the house. There was no way one couldn't keep from coming back to a place like this. We leave for our respective hotels at around 22:00hrs. M & A drop me to my hotel room. They leave for Mumbai tomorrow early morning.

(Note to myself: I learned so much from J today. If you run a business, be passionate, shrewd and friendly in an absolutely balanced ratio. There is no way you can fail. I'm so impressed. It was also nice to have met M & A. Friendly strangers turn into my good-natured, pure-hearted friends... at least for now.. and I loved every moment being with them.)


Thursday 7th Feb'08 00:00hrs

Rise & shine gorgeous! Its a bright new day again. My last day in Goa for this season. And I'm on my own. I have not planned the day yet. Let me take it slow and on impulse today...
I have breakfast at Tony's shack today, their specialty being freshly-baked homemade pitta bread & hummus with masala chai. I feel so satiated. After breakfast, I sunbathe and take a swim in the almost empty beach. The local tourist crowd have all left and there were only a few foreign tourists left in sight. The season is getting leaner by the day. I go to my room, take a shower, get dressed, check my jhola for money, water bottle, sunglasses, a book and some dry-fruits to munch on, then set out just aimlessly for destination anywhere. I keep walking till I reach the Anjuna junction bus-stop and get up on the first bus which stops. Its going to Calangute. That brings a smile to my lips and as I pay the bus-fare to the conductor with a mysterious smile, he looks confused, yet shrugging his shoulders moves on indifferently to the next passenger for fare. My co-passenger is a local school-teacher and we have a short but friendly conversation till she reaches her destination. After sometime I reach my destination too. And without any help from my brain, my feet walks to J's shack.

J has a big smile glued on his face as he sees me. He welcomes me exactly like yesterday and tells me to feel at home. I make it clear that today I'm gonna eat, play and drink here only if he allows me to pay. He wouldn't listen. Finally we both settled on me paying whatever amount he'd quote, without him showing me their menu-card for the prices. I keep my jhola with the accountant, take my book to the beach, do some reading, sun-bathing, sand-writing and clicked a few random pics of strangers and of the staff at J's shack. Mr. TDH doesn't have any customers to escort today. So, he kills time with me. I tell him that I don't need an escort, but he clarifies that he's only into white women and that I don't need to get scared. I discover that he's an educated, well-read bartender, but not rich enough to fulfill his dream of going abroad to work, on his own. He sees escorting every single white lady as a new opportunity for work permit abroad and also the earnings out of it go into his savings for his 'overseas dream' after giving J a fat cut-out as commission. I was touched by TDH's story. We played some pool together and he offered to take me to a casino in the evening. He and J had plans of going to one of their favorite casinos in the evening anyway, as the business was lean today. I agreed immediately, as I had never seen a real-life casino ever.

J drove us all to the CASINO CARNIVAL at the Goa Marriott Resort in Miramar Beach. They charged Rs. 200/- per head. Their dress-code being formals and smart-casuals, I suddenly felt under-dressed in my beach sun-dress and flip-flops. But these are situations when a lady feels privileged when she is not stopped by anyone for not following any rule. I never looked more confident than this time in my life. With 2 well-dressed men coming to the casino to blow their money, I felt no less than a princess. J & Mr. TDH indulged in Roulette, Black Jack, Baccarat & Slot Machines keeping me nearby as their lucky mascot, but lost miserably.*tch..tcchhh!* But hey, I never asked them to gamble, nor told them I'm lady luck, so I maintained a blank innocent look on my face throughout.

After losing enough money, J & TDH took me to Palmeira, the Marriott's in-house multi-cuisine dining restaurant for a nice chatty dinner, after which both the men drop me off to my hotel room and left for their destination.

(Note to myself: Its such a good yet strange feeling to be able to trust people in a place like. People I hardly know, yet I could trust, not to cheat me or take advantage of. Yet another reason why I'm in love with Goa and its natives. Boy! Am I tired?!*yawn!*)

Friday 8th Feb'08 22:00hrs

With a heavy, reluctant feeling, I slide out of bed and get ready to leave. Checklist for everything to be packed. My bags are super-heavy with all the shopping here. I go to Tony's shack to pay him. The good soul gives me a hefty discount for being an old customer and a long stay, so I am left with more money to do more shopping on the way, if I can. Seeing my super-heavy bags, Tony offers to drop me in his van till half-way till Panjim. And I thought courtesy is an extinct virtue unheard of by Indian men.*Sigh!*

(Note to myself: I'll get all teary-eyed and never leave if the Goans continue to be so nice to me.)

I have to come to Vasco to board the Goa Express at 14:00hrs. After bidding Tony 'goodbye' at Panjim, I boarded a bus to the Vasco railway station which brought me in time to grab a quick Goan lunch just outside the station and also to pick up some more cashew packets to send home to Ma.

The train's on time and I board it peacefully. It was thankfully not too crowded. So, it was a perfect time to devour John Grogan's 'Marley & Me'.

I read, ate, slept and did not even look up to see my co-passengers this time.

As I finished reading the book and my heart grew heavy at the world's worst, yet most lovable dog's demise, we reached the Nizamuddin railway station, Delhi, on Sunday 10th Feb'08 06:00hrs.

 
And that's how ended my fun-filled, carefree & colorful time in Goa this once.

The SUNSCREEN Song

Everybody's Free
(to wear sunscreen)

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97... wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be IT.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

I will dispense this advice... now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

You are NOT as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;
live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

I can never fail to get inspired by this song... time and again...

This Valentine's...

I was so so happy just after being back on terra firma from my Goa trip... really refreshed and energetic. And then something snapped again... I don't know what! No, its not because I'm back at work again.. I can live with my work, without squirming, for atleast another couple of months. Its that sinking feeling again... the blues...(and no, I'm not pms-ing, either).
I feel I just couldn't care less about dressing up... about how I look... I don't feel like talking to people around... When someone comes to me to chit-chat I find it so intruding, I can hardly stop myself from snarling at them. I find all the funny jokes really annoying and silly... I don't feel hungry more than once in 24hrs... I have problems sleeping at night and I can only manage to catch on some sleep by the wee hours of the morning. I am restless almost all the time... I feel like smoking but when I do, my throat feels like its rotting inside... All the hype about the Valentine's Day isn't helping too much either. Suddenly I feel so old that it almost seems I belong to a different century... like I've been around forever. And yes, those men... they all seem so wrong... Will somebody please tell me where the right ones are? if they were there at all?? or have they just vanished into thin air when I wasn't looking??? Forget about men, but what is it that I'm looking for? I know I'm longing for something thats really close to my heart... something that I'd go to any extent to get hold of and then hold onto, but I don't know what it is... My heart longs and hurts and I can feel sensations which I never knew, existed.
Maybe I'm suffering from schizophrenia... maybe I'm just Goa-sick... maybe I'm in love... Maybe I'll never know the difference before this dangerous feeling goes away and I become my happy, carefree self again...
Happy Valentine's to all, anyway...

The SUN and the SEA beckons

The cold-waves doing their rounds in making Delhi winters chillier than ever; the lazy sleepy sun who seems to peep out of the sky not out of willingness but as an obligation to mark its daily attendance; loading yourself with layers of thick woollens making your 'to-die-for' figure and 'sense of style' sink rapidly below zero-level (no, those hot micro-minis with leggings and pointy-boots don't keep you warm enough); the zest to go out and do so many things that could have been done during the whole day only if you could've managed to drag yourself out of that cozy mink blanket in the morning; the same old boring job; the same ol' faces that you see day in and day out; the urgency to invest your hard-earned money into all kinds of tax-saving plans and policies; the oh-so-irresistable 'end-of-winter-sale' all over the city when you feel like buying everything but cannot (remember? those bonds, insurance policies and provident-funds to secure your future); all your dearest friends either on a long vacation or just caught up with their share of mundane jobs... just name it and believe me, just about anything can be reason enough for me to hate the winters. I am anything but a winter person. The winters depress me to no end and I'm at my gloomiest, moodiest and crankiest best (read worst). I generally try to retain my saneness by escaping to the seaside and soaking in some sun to rejuvenate myself in the winters. But unfortunately, I could not manage to escape to Goa (my favourite destination) for this last Christmas and New Year's. So you can imagine, I have been at my snappiest best at the slightest of provocation, to anyone who had dared to try any of their wisecracks anywhere around my close proximity.
After shouting at the office-transporters for their consistent inefficiency, snapping at about 50% of my colleagues from the team and then profusely apologising for being rude to them for no reasonable reason, first trying to convince my boss then confusing him to the extent of him approving 10 days of paid leaves for me (of-course with sufficient amount of emotional drama and also managing to shed a few crocodile tears... a la Bollywood ishtyle), giving the office tax-consultant a piece of mind for wrong tax-deduction from my salary, and being enquired by a third guy-friend if I am about to have my periods for such foul mood-swings, I am finally leaving for my favourite destination tomorrow early morning to get myself plenty of fresh coastal air, to catch on a lovely tan and to devour my favourite sea-food-cusines and to get sloshed with all those intoxicating port-wines. A week of carefree hippie-life with no connectivity with the rest of the world... a time when I can paint myself all over with the exquisite colours of the carnival... to be with people who are complete strangers but ones who make me feel I belong. For only by doing so, I know, I will be at peace with myself. My beloved beckons and I have to go... for old times' sake... for heavens' sake... and for everybody elses' sake. Amen!