November Musings

Being from an absolute civil background and having no one from my family in the army, I , like a majority of our population, had no idea of what life in the armed forces was like. But as destined, I got married to an Army officer ( a Major in the Indian Army) on the 20th of September' 2009. After visiting my in-laws in Chennai and post our honeymoon in the Andaman & Nicobar Islands, we traveled all the way and reached Jammu on the 11th of October, where my husband was posted. Everything was so different in the army life. Right from our welcoming, to my ragging, dine-in, everything was a larger than life experience. I was in utter awe and absorbing everything like a dry sponge soaking in water.

Life in the beginning was indeed a dream come true as for any newly wed. As the bride of the unit, life was a lot of fun with all that pampering, care and attention showered on me by all officers and ladies. It was here I realized that even if Army sends you away from home and family, it provides you with another big family- your regiment, where you feel at home and acquire a tremendous sense of belonging. It is indeed amazing how so many people from different origins and culture can unite to form a closely knit unit. One develops some long-lasting relationships which at times might even outweigh blood relationships and age-old friends.

I come from a family of parents with moderate outlook...neither too conservative, nor too modern. But staying away from home and working for so long in a corporate environment (where everyone is expected to be addressed by his/her first names) made it very awkward for me in the first and most of the thereafter parties and get-togethers. Every time an officer or a lady came and spoke to me, I would be very nervous as everyone had to be addressed with their (correct) ranks and last names. The senior ladies could not be addressed by their first names or not even as "ma'm"s. One had to be politically correct all the time and had to mind his/her language as well as body-language. How you sit, walk, wine & dine, greet, everything is scrutinized at all times...not only by the senior ladies in your unit, but even by the ladies of other units too. And for a person who comes from a background like mine, infamous for speaking my mind out to anyone at all without any fear of being judged, it was a total culture shock. I have had my share of embarrassing moments and wished those incidents never happened. But the constant scrutinizing, grueling and training from the senior ladies of the unit and the husband's never-ending patience in answering my ever-inquisitive questions and a constant correction of any visible error, trained me (if not to a super-fine, then definitely) into a less-gawky lady.

One of the first gift my husband gave to me was the book WEDDED TO THE OLIVE GREEN. Its a Bible for people like us...the present generation service wives, who are not mere housewives...someone who is not merely a one-dimensional decorative person whose life revolves only around dressing up, makeup, kitty parties, gossip and small-talks. Notwithstanding the above, it is also true that we are not very attuned to the prevailing social customs and traditions, particularly our obligations to the Defense Service. Such ignorance leads to avoidable tension, which often extends to the husbands, so, one of the most important duty of the unit is to share with the ladies how they should conduct themselves graciously and with harmony, not only amongst themselves but also while interacting with the wives of Junior and Non Commissioned Officers and other ranks.

But, in spite of the rosy lazy life, Army life is also full of challenges, transfers, field tenures, separation from loved ones, which can be exasperating. I have heard about the much dreaded inconvenience of moving houses as an integral part of the service life. And of the long absences of the husbands for exercises which require them to be away from home for quite some time. But whenever I would get unnerved thinking of the forthcoming situations, before they actually came, my husband would always say, "Don't fight the system, make the best of it". This actually would then give me strength to carry on with a smile. My husband is one of the sentries of our country's borders and I ought to be his mainstay. So I need to be the pillar of support in the way of life he has chosen. I consider it a privilege to be married to him and I am proud to be a part of such a wonderful organization.