I feel I just couldn't care less about dressing up... about how I look... I don't feel like talking to people around... When someone comes to me to chit-chat I find it so intruding, I can hardly stop myself from snarling at them. I find all the funny jokes really annoying and silly... I don't feel hungry more than once in 24hrs... I have problems sleeping at night and I can only manage to catch on some sleep by the wee hours of the morning. I am restless almost all the time... I feel like smoking but when I do, my throat feels like its rotting inside... All the hype about the Valentine's Day isn't helping too much either. Suddenly I feel so old that it almost seems I belong to a different century... like I've been around forever. And yes, those men... they all seem so wrong... Will somebody please tell me where the right ones are? if they were there at all?? or have they just vanished into thin air when I wasn't looking??? Forget about men, but what is it that I'm looking for? I know I'm longing for something thats really close to my heart... something that I'd go to any extent to get hold of and then hold onto, but I don't know what it is... My heart longs and hurts and I can feel sensations which I never knew, existed.
Maybe I'm suffering from schizophrenia... maybe I'm just Goa-sick... maybe I'm in love... Maybe I'll never know the difference before this dangerous feeling goes away and I become my happy, carefree self again...
Happy Valentine's to all, anyway...
11 comments:
it is called "loneliness" and no there is nothing called the "right" man...
life is not perfect and it doesn't need to be for us to be happy... other's flaws and life's issues cannot be wished away... we have to learn to live with them...
but you have to find your own peace and happiness in this world... goodluck with that!
"I was so so happy just after being back..."
May be the first line itself set the tone of this post..
The moment you realize you are happy, you no longer are!
***
No more boring gyaan etc..., how abt posting some snaps of Goa trip??
We too went to mountains last weekend for skiing, will post snaps soon.
Take care!
It's the monotone of lyf which catches on with us, especially after a great holiday. You crave for something....but that something has no name, no dimensions....
Perfect Man...suddenly I believe u r indeed getting schizo.....[:)]. Well, the definition of perfect, being very subjective, varies....and one who perfectly suits ur order, may or may not exist.
"Everyone likes perfection....but love is to like the flaws..."
It's fun to give advices (tho I never follow any of it myself), so try to find happiness in small small things around you.... Get involved in things, watch a few movies (u gotta cross the century mark this tym arnd)...
"Life is a divine chaos...embrace it. Forgive yourself. Breathe. And enjoy the ride." - solbeam
Cheers!!!
Yeah, it's like- Do I really wanna do what Iam doing right now. Do I really wanna live the life Iam living. But then, what is it that I wanna do, what am I looking for. ...And there is no answer. I envy people who have got the answer, I for one, have not.
You know what Priyanka, chuck it. When in doubt- drink. Rum mitaye Gum.
For the folks with strong sense of individuality, there is no right partner...not even the most beautiful soul...being alone is sometimes great but yeah loneliness is bitter.
priyanka,
there is something about your blogs that hits me everytime i read them... as if i connect to you on a certain level...
i just hope all the best in your life and that u can figure it out...
regards
I used to feel lonely myself until I heard some really good advice almost randomly.
"There is nothing wrong or sad in being lonely. It is only the realization of it. Because when you think too much of something, it grows in importance. The best thing to do in such situations is make the most of your loneliness by learning new skills, investing in personal enrichment and pretty soon you will find new doors open for you and those doors will lead you to meet new interesting people and then you will look back and think what made you feel so lonely in the first place in the midst of such wonderful company."
Not the exact words, but close. I like the notion of enriching during loneliness. I like to think in terms of finite time. You have only a certain life span. Are you going to rant and cry about your loneliness (over which you have no control) or are you going to enrich your life (over which you have absolute control) for the rest of your life. Know that you control your life.
High words but very basic stuff about life.
Hi all, my blue days r left way behind now and I'm my happy hippy self again. Thanks for coming by and leaving yor highly valued words/lines of advice. I much appreciate it. Cheers!!
Cheers!!!
Hiii...
I am a blog trotter! Stumbled upon ur blog from no where... :D
Happy to know that u r back to ur happy mood again... Just one line from my side: There are many lesser mortals who feel like the way u felt... U r not alone here! :)
hi Pri,
its high time that u shoud stop thinking too much... enjoy life bindaas n things will fall in the right place. I like the comments made by anonymous ... n by the way u r not a schizo ... to be one u have to cross many more crazy miles!!!
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